Reclaiming Forgiveness: A Fresh Beginning

What is your understanding and practice of forgiveness? 

How you answer this question is crucial. It will reveal:

• the dynamic of your relationships at every level,
• your belief as to whether each human is ‘image of God’, and even
• your understanding of the gospel.

We will explore the significance of each of these aspects and more in this series.

Many discussions about forgiveness expose great confusion and bad theology. It is time we reclaimed a wholesome, biblical understanding and practice of forgiveness.

Let’s begin with a few scenarios to gauge your current thoughts.

 

What do you think?

Here are four scenarios. As you read each one, determine whether you agree or not before moving to the next.

1. A counselor advises a woman who suffered repeated abuse.

“Simply forgive him in your heart.”                 

        “How can I? He doesn’t feel that what he did was wrong.”            

“Forgive him to release yourself and get on with your life.” 

2. An elderly couple visits an inmate in prison. 

That inmate had invaded their home, severely beating the husband and traumatizing his wife. As they look at the man who has caused so much pain, he stares back at them with a smirk, never having shown any remorse for the harm he caused.

The victims say, “We forgive you.”  

3. A person in the congregation maliciously slanders a congregational leader.

The offender will not explain or retract his character-destroying lies.          

The maligned leader feels obliged to declare, “I forgive you.”    

4. A student pulls out a handgun and shoots his classmates, killing one and wounding three others. 

The next day, the student body holds up a banner: “We forgive you.” 

 

Did you accept any or all of these responses as illustrations of forgiveness?

If so, does your current understanding of forgiveness include any of the following components: 

• Forgiveness is about releasing the victim.
• Forgiveness can take place when the offender has not, or will not, acknowledge the wrong done. 
• Those who are not victims can forgive the guilty party. 

 

A cheap substitute

I’ll ‘stir the pot’ a bit.  

None of these responses illustrates biblical or true forgiveness! We will explore this in greater depth in later posts.

In my writing, speaking, and traveling, there is probably no topic that has generated more discussion, disagreement, and ‘aha’ moments than the topic of forgiveness.   

Forgiveness is at or near the heart of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Yet, many followers of Jesus are confused about forgiveness. Our Western culture feeds us a cheap substitute in place of biblical forgiveness—and many have swallowed this substitute. 

Practical results of this ‘diet’ include:  

• entrenched alienation from others;

• unhealthy responses to conflict;

• deep feelings of guilt;

• grotesque burdens laid upon victims; and,

• shallow appreciation for the gospel.

 

Locating true forgiveness  

The foundation for understanding forgiveness is in the heart of God. 

The model for practicing forgiveness is in the actions of God.

So there is no misunderstanding, when we speak about ‘God’, we are referring to the living God who has revealed himself as Jesus Christ.   

Here is a reference point orienting us toward true forgiveness. In a section of Ephesians on relationships, the apostle Paul writes (Ephesians 4:32):  

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 

He writes something similar in another letter (Colossians 3:13):

 ... bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  

What is the ultimate demonstration of true forgiveness?   

It is God in Christ forgiving an offending human. This is the model that we are to follow in our relationships with each other.   

How am I to forgive another person? 

The same way in which God has forgiven ‘me’: “as God in Christ forgave [‘me’].”

How does God in Christ forgive you?   

God in Christ forgives you when you acknowledge your wrong (i.e., your sin) to Him and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. Here is what Paul proclaimed (Acts 20:21): 

… they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.

That is how and when God in Christ forgives.

 

But you might ask, “Is forgiveness conditional upon repentance?” 

We will deal with this later, but for the moment, let me ask you, “Does God look into the face of the offender who smirks at Him and shows no remorse, and say, ‘I forgive you’?”  

“Does God say, ‘Even though you won’t acknowledge your wrong, I think I’ll just forgive you in my heart so I can be released, feel better about Myself, and get on with the rest of my life’?”

  

What is your thinking? 

What is your understanding and practice of forgiveness? Is it rooted in the heart and actions of God, or is it a cheap substitute to make you feel better? 

In the weeks to come, let’s explore what the Bible says about forgiveness. Some things we will grapple with will include: 

• exclusion (i.e., the breaking of relationships);

• the journey back (i.e., the dynamic of repentance);

• the embrace (i.e., the rebuilding of a broken relationship);

• when forgiveness doesn’t happen;

• dangers of the ‘cheap substitute’; and,

• common challenges and questions we ask about forgiveness.  

In the next post, I aim to explore the connection between love and forgiveness, while also highlighting their distinctions.  

FORWARD TO the next post in this series

Photo Credit: Canio Scattone via Compfight cc