Key Factors of Genuine Confession

Therefore confess your sins to each other and

pray for each other so that you may be healed.

(James 5:16)

 

What is confession?

As we have explored in the previous posts, confession is a vital stage in the process of true forgiveness.

As we have read, it is that point at which “shams are over, and realities have begun.” Confession is the deep, life-giving dynamic of repentance, finding intentional expression to those who have been wronged by one’s words or actions.

Here are seven (7) practical indicators of genuine confession that will guide you in confessing and in recognizing genuine confession.

 

Factors of genuine confession  

1.  Confession is first to God.

As we dealt with in the preceding post (“Why confess to God?”), our confession is first addressed to God for the wrong we have done. This is because all wrong, whether limited to the intimacy of our thought-life or involving another human, is committed against God. Put another way, any sin against an image of God is a sin against the God of the image.

You will recall that I also mulled over the effectiveness and fullness of forgiveness if God is not acknowledged or engaged in the process.

 

2.  Confession is personal.

This means that confession is not indirect, but personal and direct. Speak to the person or persons you have offended or injured. Do not use an intermediary and (if possible) avoid putting your confession in writing (a letter or email), which can sometimes be counterproductive if it is later used as “evidence” against you or a memory of your offense.   

It is best to meet face-to-face. This gives the best context for open, clear communication. As Jim Van Yperen suggests, begin with a personal opening statement, such as “Paul, I want to speak to you and ask your forgiveness.” [1]

 

3.  Confession is in context.

In general terms, confession should take place in the same sphere in which the sin or offense was committed.

If the offense is a wrong thought or motive that has not found expression in speech or action, the context for confession is between you and God alone. In this case, no person is aware of your wrong thought or motive, provided it has not been conveyed in some other way.

If you did or said something to a person, and just the two of you were present, then your confession is to that other person only.

If the wrong took place before others in a wider public context, that is the context for your confession. This is how those who have been wronged, or who observed the wrong, know that repentance has taken place and forgiveness is being requested. 

 

4.  Confession is specific and succinct.

You should name your offense or sin specifically, yet briefly. For example, “Paul, I was wrong to have called you a [fool].” Your confession should admit that you violated a boundary of your relationship with that person. In this example, Jesus makes it clear that an outburst of anger (without cause), insults, or demeaning language constitutes a breach of relationship (Matthew 5:21-26).   

 

5.  Confession is unconditional and comprehensive.

Make no defense for your offense. Do not excuse your action with words like “I did it because you ...” or “I was under a lot of pressure at work.”

And do not blame others for your offense, even if they were contributors. You own and confess to what you did or said. You cannot speak for others.

Confess your sin for what it is.

 

6.  Confession promises change.

Van Yperen uses the example of a person making a commitment: “I know that I have been using alcohol as a way to relieve my stress. I’m going to AA, so that I stop drinking and never do this to you or anyone else again ....”

Communicate your desire that your offense will not happen again.

 

7.  Confession seeks full reconciliation.

Reconciliation is the desired goal of the process of forgiveness.

Asking for the other person’s forgiveness is a healthy part of confession. It expresses the desire to restore or heal the relationship. The aim of confession is to reestablish the relationship fully, not simply to get rid of the burden of your sin or offense.

In some cases, much time has passed, people have moved away, or the relationship cannot be restored (e.g., due to divorce and remarriage). However, forgiveness can still take place in “releasing” the offending party from the burden of their offense.

 

An illustration

Throughout this series, we have returned to Jesus’s ‘story’ of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-31).

The son expresses his repentance in his confession: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son” (15:21). The father heard enough and interrupted his son’s confession. His own joy and desire to be reunited with his son overwhelmed him, as his servants prepared to celebrate a relationship returned to life.

Wonderful story! 

 

What do you think?

Some may argue that this is too difficult or too humiliating.

The process of forgiveness is neither easy nor cheap. Whether you are the offender or the offended, there is cost and pain involved in the journey of forgiveness.

Also, keep in mind the cost, pain, and lasting loss of not pursuing the path of forgiveness. Wrecked relationships, alienated people, anger and bitterness, and enduring regret are only some of the wounds that never heal; they can only be anesthetized or deadened.

Where would we be if God himself did not engage in the process of forgiveness? What if he just wrote us off and moved on? The cross of Jesus Christ is the evidence that forgiveness is neither easy nor cheap.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and

pray for each other so that you may be healed.

(James 5:16)

 Is there someone to whom you need to confess your wrong and ask for forgiveness? 

Do you have a question or comment? You can reach me using this link. 

 

BACK TO Why Confession to God Matters 

TO START at the beginning of this series 

Notes:

[1] Others who have written extensively on biblical forgiveness and, more generally, conflict resolution also recognize these factors. One example is Jim Van Yperen, Making Peace: A Guide to Overcoming Church Conflict (Chicago, IL: Moody, 2002), 221-243.

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