The Therapy of God’s Love

Therapeia is the Greek word ‘therapy,’ meaning healing.

After a message on biblical forgiveness, a woman approached the speaker quietly. Her story was heartbreaking: years earlier, a trusted relative had abused her. Though the perpetrator showed no remorse, someone had advised her to “forgive in her heart” so she could be free and move on.

For a time, that advice seemed to work, but it did not last. The weight of betrayal, humiliation, and unresolved pain returned—crippling her emotionally and mentally.

With tears in her eyes, she said,

“From bitter experience, I’ve learned that ‘therapeutic forgiveness’ is neither therapeutic nor forgiveness. But what can I do? Is there no way to find healing from this pain?”

“Yes, there is. It is the therapy of God’s love.”

She asked, “How?”

Two profound questions emerged from that moment:

• What is God’s way of healing?
• How can I experience that healing?

In this post, we begin to explore these questions—not with easy answers, but with an invitation to discover the transformative power of God’s love.

 

Let’s Talk About Love

Before delving into the biblical understanding and practice of forgiveness, we pause to consider something even more foundational: God’s love. In a series of three posts, we will explore agapē, the rich Greek term that describes God’s love in action.

• This post introduces agapē-love as the true path to healing—a love that does not ignore pain but meets it with grace and truth.
• The next post will explore how agapē-love is not passive or sentimental, but active and life-giving. We will uncover how this love promotes human flourishing—emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.
• The third post will go deeper, offering several biblical practices that can help you move toward wholeness. These are not quick fixes, but real steps toward healing through the transforming power of God’s love.

This journey begins with love because only agapē can make healing real and forgiveness possible.

 

 “Therapeutic Forgiveness”

You may be wondering why I put quotation marks around “therapeutic forgiveness.” There are two reasons.

First, it is not my term; it comes from others.

Second, it is neither genuinely therapeutic nor truly forgiving.

As noted in earlier posts, this kind of forgiveness is often aimed at easing personal discomfort—helping me feel better about myself—while emotionally distancing from the person who caused the pain. It is a strategy for coping, not for healing.

A Christian and professor of counseling psychology, Dr. Dan Allender, describes “therapeutic forgiveness” as a “forgive-and-forget mentality,” saying,

The only way for the “forgive-and-forget mentality” to be practiced is through radical denial, deception, or pretense.[1]

If forgiveness has anything to do with God, then this mentality misrepresents Him. It requires us to picture God forgiving offenders to feel better about Himself and move on, as though divine forgiveness were a self-help technique.

That is neither the God revealed as Jesus Christ, nor the forgiveness communicated in the Bible.  

 

Is Healing Possible?

If you are burdened by broken relationships, betrayal, or deep emotional wounds, you may be asking, “Can I be healed?”

The answer is, “Yes, by the transforming power of God’s love.”

In biblical language, this understanding and practice of love is signified by one word, agapē. This is not love as sentiment or emotion, but God’s self-giving, healing love.

 

Three Aspects of Agapē-Love

Let me briefly introduce you to three aspects of this therapy of agapē-love.

1. God is Love

Agapē is not just something God does—it is who He is (1 John 4:8, 16). Love is woven into the very fabric of God’s character.

To engage with agapē-love is to engage with God Himself and His purposes in the world. This brings you into the ‘place’ where you can experience God’s healing. This is not abstract or sentimental. More on this later.

But let’s be honest: the word love is often misunderstood, even misused. So how do we know what real love looks like when we say, “God is love”?

2. Love Demonstrated

Paul gives us a clear picture in Romans 5:8:

God demonstrates his own love [agapē] for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

From this, we see at least three defining qualities of agapē-love:

• Other-focused – God’s love is directed outward, not inward. It is not self-centered; it is other-centered. Agapē-love seeks the good of others.
• Unconditional – This love does not wait for us to clean up our act. It does not even expect a favorable response. It is given freely: “God demonstrates his own love for us … while we were still sinners.”
• Self-sacrificial – Agapē is sacrificial and costly; it is not cheap or easy. God gave His Son: “Christ died” to bring life to others.

This is love that acts, even when it hurts. Love that gives, even when it is not returned.

3. Love Recognized

While Paul does not define agapē for us, he describes it with sixteen features that help us recognize it (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a):

Love [agapē] is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. 

4. Love is pro-active, not re-active

I said I was introducing you to three aspects of the therapy of love. This is a fourth – so I will continue this in the next post, where we will consider how this active love fosters emotional, relational, and spiritual flourishing in real life.

 

Beginning the Journey Toward Healing

This post has introduced you to God’s love as the way of healing toward wholeness. Here are three key takeaways to reflect on (you may discover more):

1. Come Near to God

If you draw near to the God who is love, you approach the space where healing happens. It is like entering an orbit, which gently attracts you closer to God Himself (James 4:8).

It is in that space, and as you surrender, that your thoughts, emotions, and attitudes are welcomed, known, and transformed.  

You will face a choice: Will you resist and pull away, or will you draw closer?

2. Agapē-Love Is Not Yours to Manipulate

This love is not something you shape or control. It has already been revealed most clearly in the self-giving sacrifice of Jesus Christ. His love is immeasurable, and it is for you as you are.

On your part, will you surrender to the One who is love?

3. Agapē-Love Is Recognizable

Where agapē is present, it is unmistakable.

Look again at the features listed in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. This love is patient, kind, truthful, and enduring. It does not envy, boast, or keep score. When you see these qualities—whether in yourself or others—you are witnessing agapē in action.

You can learn more about each of these features through the series: “16 Qualities of Love.”

Let’s pick up this thread in our next post.

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact me using this link. 

 

BACK TO Why to Steer Clear of Forgiveness Distortions

Notes:

[1] Dan B. Allender, Bold Love (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 1992), 16.

Image credit: The images in both Greek and English texts by John B. MacDonald, © 2025